I come to the garden alone,
While the dew is still on the roses.
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear,
The Son of God discloses.

 And He walks with me. And He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own.
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known.
Charles Austin Miles (1868-1946) from “In the Garden” (1912)

My meeting with Jesus on the night of April sixth caused the first spiritual crisis of my life. And if it happened to me, it may have happened to you. All I can say is that I am sorry! I wish we hadn’t posted about it right away, but that was what Jesus wanted. I was still listening to the Beings who were helping me as I tried to figure things out. I was past my crisis and exultant by the following Monday, but without their help, I likely would have done what probably many people did, and quit my website altogether. But I couldn’t quit myself. I had to deal with it. All I can do is tell you what my problem was, and tell you how Thomas and Jesus helped me through it.


Your first question is whether that Being is Jesus. Oh yes, indeed He is. And in telling me His story, He made me confront my illusions about Christianity straight-on. Especially including the fact that the benevolent Christian God that I had come to love as a child was only the last in a series of human-made gods that can be traced back to the chubby fertility goddess that is sometimes found in the caves of the earliest fully human beings. Some years back, Thomas patiently led me through blogging about the history of human-made gods, including the fact that there never is a moment when the Christian God becomes “a real God.” It is past time for humankind to understand that. We are living in and inextricably part of a human-created and consciousness-based illusion that is being maintained by a Godhead Collective of spiritually perfected human beings, and the most perfected of all the Beings of which we are aware is Jesus. He is the closest to a genuine God that we are ever going to know. And when He hit me between the eyes with that fact, I simply fell apart.


I can laugh at myself now. But I was terrified! Poor Jesus. There I was, so stupidly afraid of Him. By the end of that Thursday, just a day later, I was screaming at Thomas (internally, of course). Who was this “Father who art in heaven” that I had been praying to for my entire life? Whose bearded portrait was painted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel? Thomas patiently didn’t shout at me, but that was what he should have done. I deserved it. I was abusing him to no purpose.

And then on that Friday morning, feeling frail and broken, I was driving to a client meeting when unexpectedly I had a second passenger in the car. Thomas is always just behind my left shoulder. Then all at once, I realized that there was the Lord’s perfect energy, too, although very much reduced in volume, right there next to Thomas but more toward the middle of the car. They were happily chatting for my benefit while I tried to ignore them so I could hear my GPS. Fall River, Massachusetts, is an old mill city of one-way streets so harrowing that if I can’t use my GPS I am immediately lost. But I couldn’t ignore the fact that they were playfully complaining that I was so late in getting Seek Reality Online started that they were letting me know that the two of them were just going to start their own website. Thomas was planning to name it after Jesus.

“Too late,” I called to him, aloud. “Churches have already used all the good names.” I was concentrating on my GPS, since the narrow roads were crowded and a turn was coming up.

Thomas said loudly in my mind, “We’ll call it ‘Jesus Speaks.’”

Jesus said, also in my mind, “So you ought to listen.”

Thomas mind-blurted, “For heaven’s sake.”

He was already laughing. Then they both were laughing, which made me laugh, too. And I missed my turn and stopped dead in the street, and people were honking. It was a mess. Of course, since no one could see or hear them, it looked to all those rush-hour drivers as if some demented woman was laughing hysterically, sitting there alone in her car.

The comedian Lenny Bruce (1925-1966) had a joke that he used to tell in the fifties. And we know now that the person who would have laughed the loudest and enjoyed it the most would have been Jesus. Lenny Bruce said, “If Jesus had died in this century, all the Catholic schoolchildren would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks.”

Thomas talked to me nonstop on Saturday as we polished last Sunday’s blog post. He told me how they are preparing to help the great volume of Baby Boomers who are soon to arrive in the afterlife, many of them also feeling frail and damaged, as I have been damaged by Roman Christianity. But fortunately, the Boomers are the last generation that will arrive there damaged to this extent. And then last Sunday morning when I woke up, I was feeling calmer. I knew at once that we had met with Jesus again the night before. I even had a fleeting glimpse of His face. I said in my mind to Thomas, “We met with Him again?” He said, “yes.” “But I won’t get to know what was said?” He said, “No need.”

And there really was no need. By the time I woke up last Monday morning, I was discussing with Thomas details of the reality that on some level I always have known was what was true and real. The notion that one God on some celestial throne could magically take loving spiritual care of seven billion people at once had always seemed to me to be suspiciously unlikely, so I was ready now to give up the cartoon Christian God that my mind was still trying to supply. By Tuesday morning, when I was hugging my sister and driving to Logan to catch my plane home, there was only that beautiful sunrise. And Jesus. Now His lovely energy is always with me, whenever I think to call Him to mind. And Thomas tells me that I still can pray the prayer that I have prayed every day since I was a child. The very much augmented Council that was first assembled to give Jesus guidance on earth two thousand years ago still faithfully hears every prayer ever prayed to the Christian God, anywhere on earth and in every earthly language. Thomas tells me that Jesus taught the Lord’s Prayer to the Jews of His day because He wanted to wean them from fearing Jehovah, and teach them instead to think of their imaginary god as a loving celestial father. And for so long as people pray to our father in heaven, Jesus assures us that there will be a Council dedicated to lovingly hearing their prayers, and to answering them through each person’s spirit guide. So I will continue to pray The Lord’s Prayer, and with the Lord’s sweet energy in my heart.

I cannot sufficiently describe to you the Master’s beautiful energy. The fact that each person who lacks a body can choose to go without a body in the astral, and appear as simply a ball of light and still be recognized by a unique personal energy, is something that I have known for decades, but I really only ever half-believed it. Then I learned to tell Thomas apart from Thomas Jefferson when I met with them both in the same nighttime meeting and realized that they did have different energies. My Thomas is more spiritually developed than Jefferson, but they actually are pretty close in development. Wow, you can tell a lot from people’s auras, and that felt like an enjoyable discovery! And I vividly recall the moment when I first was close to Jesus and I was feeling His extraordinary energy, which is nothing but the richest and sweetest, the most intense and ecstatic love. I cannot even describe to you how it feels! It’s soft but abundantly strong, so He seems full of light. The churches portray Him as sorrowful, but I don’t see how He ever can be sorrowful. He feels like joy abounding to me, and all I have to do is think of Him now, and that feeling of first being near Him comes back.

I have learned so much from Thomas, and through him from his Friend, in only this past week. For the first time, Thomas has been willing to answer my questions pretty freely, provided that I understand that some of what he tells me cannot yet be widely shared. All that exists is Consciousness, and every human mind is a part of that Consciousness. Not as separate dots, but inextricably all as parts of one whole. And the Lord loves each of us infinitely! I have been listening to old Seek Reality podcasts as we prepare to make them part of Seek Reality Online, and Thomas has had me make that a part of my podcast signoff right from the beginning. But it is only now that I realize how completely true it is. Jesus does indeed love you infinitely. And now I know how that love feels! When I asked Thomas whether Jesus minded my capitalizing His pronouns, he said, “No. He knows that is who you are. But He thinks you ought to capitalize the word Consciousness, too, since Consciousness is the genuine God.”

Jesus wants us to think of Consciousness as the true God in which we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28). At the bottom of Consciousness is anything negative. And in reality, there is no top. There are many who have matured spiritually in our astral system and not joined our Godhead Collective, but instead they have advanced above it. And since we would not understand even the workings of the highest Godhead Collective of which we are aware, there is little point in our attempting to envision the even greater glories ever farther above. (To quote Thomas.) What we think of as the afterlife is in fact an intimate area cordoned off from the infinite astral plane, a part of which is closed off to visitors, but a part of which we can visit during near-death experiences or when we travel out of our bodies. Or when our spirit guide takes us to meet with Jesus. And now I can testify to that.

I have asked Thomas questions about his last earth-lifetime with the being who now is Jesus, in which he has told me that they died in battle. He doesn’t remember any of it after thousands of years, but he has consulted with his Friend. When I asked Thomas if Jesus had fought in that battle, I heard the Lord speak directly, which made me wince. He said distinctly in my mind, “You know the answer.” I do know the answer. He could not possibly have fought.

I am so used to thinking of Thomas as a part of me that this new fact that apparently Jesus sometimes hears our conversations is disorienting. When I finally got going again on that Friday morning a week ago after having caused a Fall River traffic jam, I was already fifteen minutes late for my meeting, and I had no idea where I was. I re-set my GPS, but they started right in again with their back-seat chatter and laughter. Good grief. They were teasing me, trying to lighten my mood, but I am horrified to say that I actually scolded two extremely venerable Beings aloud as if they were misbehaving four-year-olds. I said, “Stop it! I’m lost! Pipe down back there!” I hope that’s all I said. I don’t think I also threatened no dessert tonight.

Thomas tells me that what had been a stable astral system for millennia was altogether disrupted by Jesus’s resurrection. And I perfectly understand why! It has been eleven days now since I met the Lord Jesus face to face, and still that experience has not faded. Perhaps, like my childhood experience of light, it never will fade, and I will always live in those moments. The reason is the Lord’s magnificent energy. The love that He is, beyond my ability to express it. Filling everything, filling me when I was there, and filling me even now, whenever I think of Him. Thomas tells me that Jesus rose from the dead and ascended to the astral, and at once He effected there a permanent, universal transformation.

Had it not been for Roman Christianity, which began soon thereafter on earth and spread over all of humanity a gloomy fear of God and hell and death, what Jesus calls the kingdom of God overspreading the earth would have begun right away. But instead, for the next two thousand years of earth-time, the completely unnecessary fear of God and hell and death engendered by Roman Christianity was what has overspread the earth in its place. The Lord’s demonstration that human life is eternal when He rose from the dead on that first Easter morning was co-opted by Roman Christianity as a human sacrifice to a human-made God. So our beloved Jesus, and those like my Thomas who have been working to protect the Lord’s teachings have been patiently waiting Christianity out. Now at last, on this Easter morning two thousand years later, the Lord judges that the time is right. His teachings can be safely unwrapped as His ultimate gift to us, and His Way can now begin to overspread the earth. And those who serve Him have judged that the best way to begin the advent of the Lord’s Way is the eradication of as much of the fear of death from our lives as possible. Thomas tells me that for my whole life I have been preparing to be the Lord’s servant in this work. And now is when it actually begins.

I’d stay in the garden with Him,
Though the night around me is falling,
But He bids me go.
Through the voice of woe,
His voice to me is calling.

And He walks with me,
And He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own.
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known.
Charles Austin Miles (1868-1946) from “In the Garden” (1912)